And he said that if I open my mouth to talk during it one more time, he's going to kick me out of the house and lock all the doors.
I have conflict about this movie. There are things I love like the soundtrack, the funny, the pretty sparkly scenes, and Olaf. Also, Flop allegedly took a quiz on which Disney couple we are and we got Kristoff and Anna, which I just think is absolutely spot on.
Normally I can buy into the convention. Sure, magic, self fulfilling prophecy, love at first sight, etc., etc. I just can't this time. There are things that really, really bother me. Here they are in no particular order.
1) The wise troll couldn't just mention, "Oh hey, love reverses the ice. FYI. Bee Tee Dubs."
2) The wise troll, who is experienced with magical powers, couldn't be like, "Oh hey girl, let me help you learn control." Or, "Hey girl, let me refer you to someone else that can help you. Because you can't possibly be the only person on the planet with this issue."
3) After the parents die, WHO IS RUNNING THIS KINGDOM?!?! No regent, no ladies in waiting, no chaperones, no advisers, no meetings of state, nothing! The Duke of Weselton mentions that Arendelle is their trade partner. WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE ECONOMY?!?!
4) On that note, do these girls even know how to read?? We never see them with tutors or anything.
5) I'm pretty sure that if you freeze and refreeze parts of a castle many times over the course of a decade, or more, there will be severe structural damage.
6) Ok, the parents leave for 2 weeks. Say they plan on spending 2 days at their destination. That means sailing 6 days in each direction. Say the storm hits when they're in the middle of their journey so that they are at the most remote point possible from the coast. Is it possible to have a storm that big that close to land? Maritime experts, explain this to me.
7) Elsa's ice palace. Where does she sleep? And what does she sleep on? Does she have indoor plumbing? Is the toilet see-through, too?
8) Why is the Duke of Weselton portrayed as a villain? I would have done the same thing. This crazy sorcerer chick is going to kill all of our people (from exposure and starvation), food sources, trade opportunities just to start. She needs to get locked up or dead. Totally reasonable.
9) Anna 100% would have died from exposure on her way to Oaken's Trading Post. Sloughing through two feet of snow for an afternoon and well into the evening and then through an icy stream? With that summery outfit? Dead. No more toes.
10) It took Anna 2 days or so to get to Elsa's castle but Elsa got there and built her castle in a matter of hours. Unless Elsa developed some amazing Silver Surfer skills, I just don't see how probable that is.
|Still running at normal speed.|
12) Ok, after everything gets unfrozen, everyone is all just happy? See, what would really happen is a major crisis. Logically, being a castle built on the water, operating on a water-based economy, they probably eat a lot of fish. When you have summer, and then you freeze the water to an unspecified depth (at least deep enough to put all the ships in port seriously out of commission, that will very likely have a bad effect on the wildlife living in the water.
This movie has a lot to say. Any monkey with an eyeball attached to a brain can pick out the main themes and tell us how all of it is a brilliant deviation from the standard Disney convention. I mean, true love between sisters is great because sisters are fucking fabulous. I happen to have one myself but the only part of this movie that I really, deeply enjoy...